Tuesday, September 11, 2012

A pinterest-ing find

25 ways to communicate respect to your husband without saying a word

--I pinned this link the other day because it seemed close to home... I am a newlywed remember?! How great to add a few new tools to my belt right off the get-go. After reading it, I felt totally inspired and ready to tackle this marriage/partnership in a healthy, happy way. I would ordinarily just post the link on here in hopes that you'd follow it and read the article. But this is too good not to just put straight on here. It's helping me and I hope it can help someone else see things differently, too!

 1.Choose Joy

It’s true: A happy wife makes a happy life. Please don’t use moodiness as an attempt to manipulate your man, but in all things rejoice, because that’s the right thing to do. (1 Thessaonians 5:16; Philippians 4:4)

2.Honor His Wishes

Give weight to what your husband thinks is important. Make those things a priority that matter most to him, whether it’s having dinner ready when he gets home from work or keeping the house tidy or limiting computer time. Don’t make him ask twice. (Philippians 2:4)

3.Give Him Your Undivided Attention

Yes, I know that women are masters of multi-tasking, but when your husband is speaking to you, make a point to lay other tasks aside, look into his eyes, and listen to what he is saying with the goal of understanding and remembering his words.

4.Don’t Interrupt

Have you ever been around a person who won’t let you finish a sentence? That gets old fast. Even if you think you already know what your husband is going to say, allowing him to say it without cutting him off mid-sentence shows both respect and common courtesy.

5.Emphasize His Good Points

Sure, he has his faults (as do you), but dwelling on them will only make you (both) miserable. Choose instead to focus on those qualities in your husband that you most admire. (Philippians 4:8)

6.Pray for Him

Ruth Graham advises wives to “tell your mate the positive, and tell God the negative.” Take your concerns to God. Faithfully lift up your husband in prayer every day, and you will likely notice a transformation not only in him, but in yourself, as well. (Philipians 4:6-7; 1 Thessalonians 5:17)

7.Don’t Nag

Your husband is a grown man, so don’t treat him like a two-year-old. Leave room for God to work. You are not the Holy Spirit, so do not try to do His job.

8.Be Thankful

Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Don’t take your husband for granted. Be appreciative for everything he does for you, whether big or small. Always say thank you. (1 Thessalonians 5:18; Ephesians 5:20)

9.Smile at Him

Smiles spread happiness. Smiles have even been shown to create happiness. Smiles are contagious. And a smile makes any woman more beautiful.

10.Respond Physically

Did you know that the way you respond (or don’t respond) to your husband’s romantic overtures has a profound effect on his self-confidence? Don’t slap him away when he tries to hug you or make excuses when he’s in the mood. Your enthusiastic cooperation and reciprocation will not only assure him of your love, but will make him feel well-respected, too. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)

11.Eyes Only for Him

Don’t compare your husband unfavorably to other men, real or imaginary. It is neither fair nor respectful and will only breed trouble and discontent. Avoid watching movies or reading books that might cause you to stumble in this area, as well. (Psalm 19:14; Proverbs 4:23)

12.Kiss Him Goodbye

I once read about a study done in Germany which found that men whose wives kissed them goodbye every morning were more successful than those who weren’t kissed. Success and respect often go hand-in-hand, so be sure to send him off right, and don’t forget to greet him with a kiss when he returns home, for good measure. (2 Corinthians 13:12)

13.Prepare His Favorite Foods

Although the rest of the family is not overly-fond of spaghetti, my husband loves it, so I try to make it at least two or three times a month as a way to honor him. Next time you’re planning meals, give special consideration to your husband’s preferences. (Proverbs 31:14-15)

14.Cherish Togetherness

I love to sit near my husband, whether at home or away. Our church shares potluck dinners every Sunday afternoon, and although the men and women normally sit separately to visit, I like to position myself close enough to my husband that I can listen to the conversation, as I think everything he says is so interesting. At home, I’ll take my book or handwork to whatever room in the house he’s working in, just to be close to him, because I enjoy his company, even when neither of us is talking.

15.Don’t Complain

Nobody wants to be around a whiner or complainer. It is grating on the nerves. Remember the serenity prayer: accept the things you can’t change, courageously change the things you can, seek wisdom to know the difference. (Philippians 2:14)

16.Resist the Urge to Correct

I know one wife whose spouse can’t tell a story without her stopping him fifteen times to correct inconsequential details: “It wasn’t Monday evening, it was Monday afternoon…. It wasn’t blue, it was turquoise…. He didn’t ride the bus, he took a shuttle.” Please. Please. Please. Don’t ever do that to your husband — or to anyone else, for that matter! (Proverbs 17:28)

17.Dress to Please Him

Take care of your appearance. Choose clothes your husband finds flattering, both in public and around the house.

18.Keep the House Tidy

To the best of your abilities, try to maintain a clean and orderly home. Seek to make it a haven of rest for your entire family. (Proverbs 31:27)

19.Be Content

Do not pressure your husband to keep up with the Jonses. Take satisfaction in the lifestyle he is able to provide for you. (1 Timothy 6:6-10; Hebrews 13:5)

20.Take His Advice

Do not dismiss his opinions lightly, especially when you’ve asked for his counsel in the first place. Make every effort to follow your husband’s advice.

21.Admire Him

Voiced compliments and heartfelt praise are always welcome, but you should also make it your habit to just look at your husband in a respectful, appreciative way. Think kind thoughts toward him. He’ll be able to see the admiration in your eyes. (Luke 6:45)

22.Protect His Name

Honor your husband in the way you speak of him to family and friends. Guard his reputation and do not let minor disagreements at home cause you to speak ill of him in public. Live in such a way that it will be obvious to others why your husband married you in the first place. (Proverbs 12:4; 22:1)

23.Forgive His Shortcomings

In the words of Ruth Bell Graham, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” Please do not hold grudges against your husband. Do not allow a root of bitterness or resentment find a home in your heart. Forgive your husband freely, as Christ has forgiven you. (Mark 11:25; Matthew 18:21-35)

24.Don’t Argue

You are not always right, and you do not always have to have the last word. Be the first to say, “I’m sorry.” Be willing to accept the blame. It takes two to argue, so “abandon a quarrel before it breaks out.” (Proverbs 17:14; 21:19; 25:24)

25.Follow His Lead

If you want your husband to lead, you must be willing to follow. Neither a body nor a family can function well with two heads. Learn to defer to your husband’s wishes and let final decisions rest with him. (Ephesians 5:22-24)

This list is written by a woman named Jennifer Flanders, who also wrote a book called Love Your Husband, Love Yourself. Here is a link to her blog http://lovinglifeathome.wordpress.com/2012/08/06/25-ways-to-communicate-respect/

Get inspired and enjoy!


Oh my Winnie darling.

She is ten months old! That first birthday is quickly approaching and I can't decide whether I am more excited or sad that my baby girl is growing up. There is absolutely no stopping it from happening. She is becoming quite the mobil, curious, silly, sneaky girl and each day it is getting harder and harder to keep up with her. But talk about rewarding! The things she learns in the span of one day rattles my brain. I love hearing her babble, almost like she's having a full on conversation with herself. I love watching her crawl, and stand up and crouch. I have recently decided to start giving her free reign to feed herself at some meals. Yesterday I mashed up some peas and she just thought it was the funnest thing in the world to grab them with her fingers and shove it in her mouth. She has this odd habbit of every time she takes a bite, she immediately puts her fist in her mouth. It can get real tiresome if I'm spoon feeding her purees. Must be teething. I've learned when in doubt, crabby, tired, not tired, rashy, cranky, screaming, fever...blame it on the teething. Anyway, I've done the same with shredded bits of apple. She enjoys the freedom and learning how to be more self sufficient. And let me tell you, the girls LOVES her water! In the beginning it was hard just getting her to take one sip of it, but now she drinks non stop it seems. After the honeymoon I declared that Winnie and I are inseperable for life. I just don't think I could go another day without seeing her, touching her, kissing her, making her laugh.... it was too hard! So now, we spend every second together just about. Except when I have to work or when she's sleeping and even still it's hard to leave her! She thinks I'm pretty funny. Mind you, I do whatever it takes, as silly or embarassing as it may be, to make her laugh. Yesterday morning as I was mopping the floors, I had her bouncer positioned right at the landing of the kitchen into the family room, and we were listening to the wedding CD... well she just thought it was the funniest thing to watch me dance with no inhibition. Frank even had to join in. Just laughing away! I do it for her. I love those moments.

More about my sweetie---

anything involving being outside
discovering new things
making pouty faces
her Mimi and grandpa
morning time
sweet potato
standing up
unfolding newly folded clothes
car keys

Not a fan of:
nap time
wearing shoes
sitting in the same spot for more than 5 seconds

She's a hoot. Gotta love her!

Monday, September 10, 2012

happy & grateful

August. What a month of changes. So many highs and one really big low. It's been hard figuring out how to cope with it all. I will say, I am happy, no, thrilled, to have married Kyle. What an unforgettable night! We have never felt more surrounded by love and wonderful people than we did that night. We just kept saying to each other "I wish we could stay up here all night" (as we ate dinner and shared toasts and looked at the most beautiful faces staring back up at us). My heart is so full with gratitude and appreciation for those who've reached out to us, picked us up, gave us hugs, sent heartwarming cards, shared our joy on the biggest day of our lives. Thank you. You will never know just how much we needed that celebration. To commit our love and devotion to each other for eternity and to let go of much sadness surrounding Kyle's father. It was quite the mix of emotions on our wedding day. Not for one second did we stop thinking of John or miss him or wish that he was there with us. He would have looked so handsome in his polka dot bow tie! But with sorrow and grief, comes a lighter heart every day. We are learning to find new happiness and embrace each day for new chances, new beginnings, new friendships, more love and definitely more laughter.