Tuesday, January 24, 2012
I don't remember exactly when I learned to read on my own, but I'm sure it was a monumental day. I loved the quirkiness and rhyming rhythm of Dr Seus. I loved the family togetherness of the barenstien(?) bears. The classic appeal of toad and frog. Ah it is all too much. Nostalgia is at an all time high!!
High school was when my book preference really took a transformation. In my AP english class, we had a required reading list. I took one look at it and didn't find one title I had ever heard of! Boy did that get me out of the box. I started reading novels like Me Talk Pretty One Day and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. I realized there was more out there for me than teen girl melodramas. I discovered a new world in books. I still get excited each time I open a new cover. Where will I go today? What will I be doing? I root myself in the story and allow myself to get taken to another place. It awakens my soul and broadens my imagination.
I hope Winnie will like to read one day. I hope she will find it enchanting and life altering. I want to share with her my favorite books and hope she keeps coming back for more.
I always wanted to be with someone who loved to read almost as much as I do. I envisioned late nights in bed as we both hold tight to the pages completely enthralled with our stories. I pictured early Sunday mornings reading the newspaper together and sharing a cup of coffee.
Kyle likes to read. No wait. He loves it. Hallelujah! Crisis averted.
I recently started my first Steven King novel. It's called 11/22/63. It's over 800 pages! Easily the longest book I will have read. My mom finished it in a matter of days. Piece of cake for her. I know without a doubt that is who I got my fierce desire for reading from. Watching how glued she was to the thing, I can only imagine it's good. It's about time travel and a man's quest to stop the assassination of JFK. So far, 150 pages in, I'm hooked.
In fact, I must go. I have more to read!
Monday, January 23, 2012
In the past couple of months, we have undergone quite a few changes. And besides the most obvious one, our new addition to the family, we also managed to loose one as well. My beloved cat, Skeeter, has a few issues. Ok, the cat is seriously bonkers. But I love him. Probably, wait, no definitely, more than I should. Before making his home permanately outdoors, he peed all over our bed, thus forcing us to buy a new mattress (which we really couldn't afford, so we had to buy an inexpensive, and just so happens to be an extremely firm one.. causing much back pain for both of us and a lot of trouble falling asleep because it feels like laying on wood floors). For the longest time, it has been hard for me to admit this harsh reality about my cat to others. I was, and continue to be, ashamed that I let matters go as far as they did. It put so much strain on the relationship between me and Ky. I still don't know why I let it get between us like it did. My stubbornness has GOT TO GO! Let me continue. He then peed on our couch, multiple times. We are still trying to get the stench out. Cat urine is honestly the worst smell. It's the kind that permeates all things around it, and the kind that you can't get out of your nose no matter how hard you try. He also managed to pee in the nursery, before it was a nursery of course. So every once in a while, the smell comes wafting back. Ugh. It is an absolute nightmare, one that we are fighting to end once and for all. He has caused so much irrepairable damage. I am exceptionally cranky today because of my poor nights sleep. Awful. Miserable. And I can't even blame the baby. What is this!? We were blessed with a good sleeper and I can hardly reap the benefits. Boo. And yet, I continue to love him. One will never know or begin to understand why, not even me.
On to other matters..
From the beginning, breastfeeding has been a challenge for us. Winnie and me, that is. At first, it was just painful. Excrutiating hardly describes it. Sometimes, I could do nothing but cry as I tried to feed my baby. Eventually the pain subsided and we moved on to other issues. She began to get fussy almost every time she nursed. It was so hard to get her to latch on and be content. It has been such an internal struggle for me, a new mom. Not only was I feeling downhearted because it wasn't easy, but what is a brand new mommy like me to do when she can't provide for her baby? I tried not to get too down on myself about it because it only made things worse. I know it's not always a piece of cake for people, and certainly not me. But every once in a while, the feelings of not being enough, not being sufficient for my child creep back in. I know I am a good mother, and in some form or another, I will find a way to nurish my baby. But the road has been and continues to be a long and challenging one. She still gets fussy from time to time, and it's hard to tell if she is getting enough. My newest worry is her constant spitting up. More times than not, she will spit up quite a bit after she eats. It is a lot. I am not overexaggerating. Is she having a bad reaction? It is something I ate? Is she allergic? I just don't know. It is exhausting. And yet, I won't give up. I have gotten used to the fact that most of the time I am covered in spit up. We even joke sometimes that I have become immune to the smell. And it doesn't smell nice. Oh the wonders of mommyhood...
Since sitting down to write this post, I have had to get up three times to calm my crying baby. It's bedtime, and definitely not her favorite time of the day. I've had to learn to let her just cry it out sometimes. As hard as it is, she sleeps so much longer and deeper because of it. It just makes me so sad listening to her unhappy though!
Being faced with these struggles has tested me in more ways than I can count. At the end of the day, I am grateful. For gaining more patience. For becoming a nurturer. For earning strength and for letting go of what I cannot change. I am grateful for battles big and little, because they shape me and force me to grow. And that is a good feeling.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
This girl smiles like it's goin outta style. LOVE her! Can't wait for more snow days spent with my little family. I was just thinking... next year is going to be so different with her when it snows. She might actually wanna play in it, or my guess.. eat it! ha!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Tonight for dinner I made:
-spicy roasted sweet potatoes (!!)
They weren't kiddin-- these babies are SPICY! Loved em. The recipe is super easy. All you need is cayenne pepper (1/2t), chili powder (1/2t), garlic powder (1/2t) and some salt. Coat a baking sheet with olive oil, heat the oven to 400*, peel and cut potatoes into 1/2 inch pieces and coat with ingredients. Cook for 20-25 minutes, flipping half way through. Delish! Click here for a better reference:http://homeiswheretheholmansare.blogspot.com/2010/11/spicy-roasted-sweet-potatoes.html
I also made a version of the oh-so very popular PAZOOKI )deep dish cookie with ice cream on top) for dessert. It gave me a great excuse to use my sweet little ramekins that Jaimie gave me last year for Christmas.
You can find the recipe here: http://www.blueeyedbakers.com/home/2011/8/8/deep-dish-cookie-pies.html
*sidenote-- I didn't put as much butter as it calls for and I substituted the milk chocolate chips for white chocolate :)
I've found so much inspiration on Pinterest for new recipes to try. Tomorrow I am going to make crockpot Chicken Taco chili and put it over rice. Yummmm (hopefully ;))
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
WINNIE SLEPT 8.5 HOURS IN A ROW LAST NIGHT!!
That was after she took a 4 hour nap before that. And after I fed her, she went back to bed for another 3 hours! That girl really likes her sleep apparently.
She must be growing. :)
I am a happy and well-rested mama today! Bring it on, world!